What I am going through

I was going through a lot of things lately. I thought it will be easy once I am out of that monstrous disease but I think I am a changed person now and little things make me feel depressed and worried. My lab in charge tried his best that I don't get appointed but he failed. I still am worried though that the authorities don't know what he does or do they just pretend they don't know? Well I applied for M.Phil in Hematotechnology meanwhile. The result came two days back and I am not selected. Yayy! I wasn't interested in the subject though. Now I have to think about a lot of things whenever I have to take steps like these. Am I even able to do that? How am I going to live there? How will I manage my diet? Who is going to take care of Mom? What if my disease comes back? Should I get married instead? Who is going to marry a transplanted guy? What about going abroad? What will I do there? There are many questions and I am confused. My friends, almost all have gone abroad. Some got married. Some are studying further. Everyday I think about doing something but what ifs keep me back from achieving those things. I discovered a new band Stereophonics a few days back. They are awesome. Oh and I got a new phone Motorola Nexus 6. It's big and its camera is amazing. Thanks to my brother living abroad. I told my mom I am not going to Lahore. I am not selected for the course. She said Alhamdolillah. She wants me to stay. I had started playing basketball again in the evening and now I am sick. This sore throat and cough told me to stay at home. Ok so my mom is sleeping. I don't want her to wake up and say: "So jao har waqt lagay rehtay ho phone ko. Kya nikaalna hai iss main se." So Adios!  

My journey through bone marrow transplant

In 2014, the last year of my bachelors, I was diagnosed with Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a blood transfusion dependent rare disease causing the red blood cells production to cease. I didn't know at that time what I would have to go through. I got blood transfusions, tried different medicines but there was no improvement. The only option I was left with was a bone marrow transplant (an expensive procedure with a lot of complications involving high doses of chemotherapy and transplantation of matched bone marrow)
I remained dependent on blood transfusions (2 bags/month) for one and a half years and was then admitted in Armed Forces Bone Marrow Transplant Centre (Combined Military Hospital) Rawalpindi, Pakistan for bone marrow transplant as my elder brother's bone marrow matched mine. I received high dose of chemotherapy for 10 days and then bone marrow was transfused through the vein.

The transfusion of bone marrow

I lost my hair and my skin went dark. I came smiling but my smile had gone. I couldn't eat and vomited whenever I tried to eat. I lost a lot of weight. Those 28 days in a small four walled room were the worst days of my life. I was finally discharged with a lot of medications and finally got to meet my parents. I had to wear face mask and had to take care as my immunity was zero. I was prone to infections. I had to go for check ups twice a week. I saw patients who couldn't get transplant as they couldn't find a matched marrow. I saw patients lose their lives in the procedure. I saw patients whose transplant didn't work and their condition got worse.

I received another chemotherapy as I was still transfusion dependent and they said my bone marrow was going into post transplant pure red cell aplasia. After some days I got haemorrhagic cystitis as a side effect. There was blood in my urine and I had to go to washroom every five minutes. Along with that I got Cytomegalovirus Infection. I was readmitted for 20 more days. More than 30 cannulas pierced my veins. I saw salts and medications dripping through my veins all day long. I was discharged as I got better. I had lost 10 kg of my weight by that time. I used to think why I had accepted this treatment and why I was chosen for this. After some days my blood counts became better and I was no longer dependent on transfusions. With time my counts kept improving. I got my immunizations after 15 months. I also got another complication called Herpes Zoster infection. I got medications for that and I recovered from that too. Now it has been 21 months since the transplant and I have got a job in my field of Medical Laboratory Technology.

During my illness I lost my father. His prayers kept me alive and strong and made me fight this monstrous disease.
I was lucky to have a doctor (Major General Tariq Mehmood Satti) who was very kind hearted and caring. With time I saw many of my close friends distance themselves from me. I guess smoking was the only thing that kept us together and I gave it up before my transplant.
What I learnt is that if God wants He can save you from so many complications and if He doesn't, you can't live for a single second.
The purpose for writing all this is solely to help those who are going through tough times in their lives and not to brag about my sufferings. Just believe in God and remember that He is the only one who can get you out of your tough times.

I'll miss you dad...

I'll miss you dad...

I'll miss your presence at every step of my life. 

I'll miss you dad when you won't be there to wake me up again and again on fajar prayer. 

I'll miss you dad when you won't be there to wake up early in the morning for tahajjud and crying before the creator. 

I'll miss travelling with you to Qadian for Jalsa. 

I'll miss the moments we shared while watching TV and eating peanuts. 

I'll miss you dad when you won't be there with us on Eid as we enjoyed it in the village only because of you. 

I'll miss you dad when I won't recieve your calls asking about the reports after check-up, asking about the whereabouts during my journeys. 

I'll miss you dad whenever I will have to make decisions in future. 

I'll miss you dad whenever I'll achieve something in life because you will not be there to appreciate and I won't be able to see that beautiful smile on your face. 

I'll miss you dad when I will start to earn and I won't be able to show and hand over all my income to you.

I'll miss you dad whenever I will be with my friends late night and you will not be there to ask me to come home early and tell me that it worries you and makes you sleepless when I am not home. 

I'll miss you dad, when I will not see your bicycle outside the office and accepting the bitter reality that I will not see it in the future too. 

You left us, especially me so early. I needed you. You were my strength. You brought me up in the best way possible. It was time to prove what I learnt from you but now you are not there. Everything seems so difficult without you. 

It still seems like you are somewhere abroad for work and you will come back through the kitchen door with a smile on your face, saying salam and asking how was everything without you? 

At that I'll burst into tears and say, "Don't you ever leave us again!" :'-(

Good-bye Taya Jaan

Good bye Taya jaan! May Allah grant my Taya Abdullah a highest place in heaven. You were an amazing man. 

How you treated me like a friend. 

Whenever I met him on Eid, he gave me Eidi and used to say, "I can't forget how you served us and helped us in Qadian in 2005." 

     Taya Abdul Qadir (on the left) and Taya Abdullah (on the right) in white turbans. (Qadian, 2005) 

Whenever I went to village, he said the same thing. He was always thankful to me for that little service. 

He was kind to all his sons and daughters, to his brothers and sisters and to all his friends. He served as Sadr Jamaat in our village. He was always the first one to enter the mosque for fajar prayer. Although he was aged but he used to open the locked door of mosque himself and offered Nawafil in the early morning when everyone was asleep. He was always worried about Jamaat. 

My chacha told me how he asked him about Chanda Waqf-e-Jadeed in the last few days of his life. How he was so worried about that. 

I must say he was a saint. There will be no person who won't admit his kindness by just meeting him once. 

Today, I went to village, everyone was sad and talking good about him.  

I remember when I met him on Eid-ul-Azha, he prayed for me and told me that we should pray for each other. He told me that I will be healthy and fit. 

There are some people we are sure in our life that God will be happy from them. My taya jaan was one of them. 

May Allah enable his family to be patient and follow his footsteps and May Allah bless his soul. Ameen! 

Happy Independence Day

(It is said that in Quaid e Azam's Pakistan, Jogendranath Mandal (Hindu) Minister of Law, 

Sir Zafarullah Khan (Ahmadi) Minister of Foreign Affairs and Alvin Robert Cornelius (Christian) were

Chief Justice of Pakistan?)

The land that was founded on the grounds that Muslims were unable to lead their lives according to the teachings of Islam and was founded on the grounds that minorities could live freely and pass their lives calmly according to their teachings. Yes! I am talking about my land, my country Pakistan.

Muslims ruled the subcontinent for a long time and when their downfall came and they saw that they were deprived of their rights, they needed a new land. So we got Pakistan because our rights were not being fulfilled in the subcontinent and our culture was different.

We even promised minorities that their rights would be given to them and invited them to join our beloved Pakistan.

Now what we have done to our people? 

These so called politicians have ruined our land, snatched away the rights of its own citizens by passing rules against them. Protecting the extremists on every level by modifying the laws, giving them time to spread hatred towards others, fearing them, protecting them and hiding behind them. 

Whenever some Muslim kills a person from a minority, he accuses him of blasphemy law and walks free! 

People are dying because of their beliefs and because of hunger, thirst and floods but our priorities are building roads, increasing taxes, indulging in the acts that result in nothing but waste of time and giving more time to these promising and looting politicians. 

We sit all day long watching news channels, watching these politicians fighting and accusing each other, watching them fight over old cases and doing nothing but wasting our time! 

What we are not doing is the fulfillment of the promise on which this land was found. Rights of minorities have been snatched away. People have to hide their beliefs in this Quaid's land which was founded in the name of religion. They have to face hatred from the majority on every level. 

Still, instead of demanding a new land, minorities are ready to live in this country with the haters and  demand their rights in a peaceful away, even though they have lost their loved ones in the name of religion and are still losing them even today.

Happy Independence Day to you dear politicians and dear religious hate-inciting-so-called-scholars. The day will come when the people of Pakistan will rise and on that day Pakistan will be the land for all to live peacefully and you will be punished by God for your evil acts, sins and damage you have done to the citizens of this land. 

PAKISTAN ZINDABAD!

Life of a Patient

I was away from blogging for some while as I was busy finding a story. So, finally I have found one.

A story of a boy who stayed about 28 days in the hospital in the same room.

After having many blood transfusions for almost one and a half year he was finally admitted to the hospital for the bone marrow transplant procedure for his treatment of blood cancer.

They inserted the CV line (catheter placed into a large vein in the neck) on the first day.

The next day, a barber came and told him he needed a hair cut because his hair were eventually going to fall. So he got all his hair removed from the head. He was still looking a bit handsome with bald head and a light beard that he also lost after the transplant.

Next day they started chemotherapy that lasted for three consecutive days. 29 tablets along with intravenous infusions and intravenous injections.

He had to go to bathroom every 20 minutes for urination along with the stand carrying the infusions that made him so much tired.

Then came a day of rest. That wasn't actually a day of rest for him. It was the day he started having side effects. Diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite etc.

He then got chemotherapy for another 4 days. Those were the bad days for him. Doctors used to call him a good patient from his smile but he turned out to be a sad one for them after the side effects.

Then came the day of transplant. They took 1 litre of bone marrow from his brother and transfused into his body through the CV line. They said it was his new birthday.

Then he waited for two more weeks for the new bone marrow to work. Finally it started working and he was discharged.

That day was the happiest day of his life.

Now he goes for check up twice every week. He is taking about 20 tablets daily now.

He can't eat his favorite pizzas, burgers or tikkas and can't hangout with his friends.

During his stay he hated every helper that came into his room. They bothered him a lot.

These were the sentences that made him hate them:
"Get up! We have to change the bed sheets."
"Go take a bath and change your clothes. We have to get them washed."

Breakfast at 7:00, Tea break at 10:00, Lunch at 12:30, Dinner at 18:00. Along with those impossible eating times for him and with lost appetite he had to listen them saying:

"Eat early! We have to return the dishes!" :@

He is not allowed to work or hangout too much in public places but he still looks motivated.

He has hope that in the cell in which he is fighting the disease, he will make the disease tap-out and make himself walk out that cell winning the fight like a hero. 

Hope

There he was, lying on his bed, thinking about his past. How he was so free in his childhood. He was the youngest in all his siblings. He got whatever he wished for. Everybody loved him. He grew up and started making plans to make his life better. He was aware that in order to live a great life he should be working hard. He was a good athlete. He was a good learner too. When he was about to achieve his first step towards success, he got ill. He was a planner and he had planned his life and wanted to achieve every goal. But he was ill. A player, a learner, a dreamer had his life stucked. He couldn't move on. Whenever he tried to made his mind towards achieving something, he thought about his illness which was a very big hurdle in his path. Doctors had forbidden him from working.

He is still in that state. He can't do anything but to wait for the miracle to happen. All his plans are doomed. His life is stucked just as the clock stops ticking. He is still hopeful that the miracle will happen. Hope is the thing that only strong people can believe upon. He just doesn't want to give up. He challenges the life everyday.

The only thing that kills him is that he is stucked and he can't move on.

Still, he has hope. He has hope in the one who created him. He is strong in his belief that if He can give him pain, He is much more powerful to take it away! 

Concept of Hinduism about Life and Death

I was going through the photos I took when I visited India last year. I came across this photo.

Life and death cycle according to Hinduism

I took it when I visited a Shamshan Ghat ( A Shamshan Ghat is a platform designed for the cremation of bodies by Hindus and Sikhs.) It explains the concept of Hindus about the cycle of life and death. As shown their concept is that the next life of a person depends on the deeds he does in this world. If his deeds are good, he comes back in this world in the form of humans and if he does bad deeds, he comes in the form of animals. Life is a continuous cycle that keeps moving. It's ones own deeds that are responsible for his/her condition in new life. 

Respect all...

We all have dreams… Dreams to become a good man and excel in our work… We start dreaming from our childhood and when we grow up more we make plans to achieve our goals…

I dreamt too! To become a doctor. May be because it was my father’s dream of seeing me as a doctor but I couldn’t… It feels so bad when students who are becoming doctors under-estimate others.

I went to a convention a few days back. Many students were there who are becoming doctors and I only felt ashamed there because respect is only for doctors and as if I am nothing! So I didn’t go there on the next day of convention.

God makes plans for all of us! I bet if I was in MBBS my life would be very dull and boring.

This post is for all those people who are in MBBS and will only be able to enjoy their life when they are more than 30 years old. :D

Love Without Cause...

In our daily life, everybody needs someone to love, to care and to spend time with... Everybody is in search of love... Now the people who love have cause for loving... A lot of people love for beauty, many for money, some to have fun and majority for time pass... We all love our parents and there is a cause... They look after us! We love our friends because they make us happy and we get entertained when we are together...

Sometimes there is someone we love a lot but can’t get it and sometimes we do get our love and then due to some causes it goes away and then heart breaks. Some people get mad, some get over it and some cannot forget it at all...

Is it possible that we love someone  and love them a lot, more than ourselves and when someone asks why do you love him/her? 

We just say, “no cause” instead of because... 

...Let Peace a Chance...

[News] A man was shot dead by anonymous bikers... [News] A man killed his wife and ran away... [News] Azeem was murdered by his brother in a quarrel about the land... [News] A man was martyred cause he did blasphemy... [News] Some Mullah asked the state to stop Ahmadies (The Muslims who believe Mirza Ghulam Ahmad Sb. as the long awaited Messiah) from offering prayer in the mosque... [News] A man killed his wife and his young children... [News] A suicide bomber blew himself up near Daata Darbar... [News] Two Ahmadi mosques were attacked by Talibans and 86 people were martyred... [News] Salman Taseer was martyred by recieving 27 bullets by his security guard...

...Where are we standing? Are we the humans?

We call ourselves, 'Ashraf-ul-Makhlooqat' but are meanest than the innocent animals...

Killings, slaughters, fightings, strikes, protests are increasing day by day in Pakistan!

Peace has gone! Our lives have become worthless! Media is adding fuel to fire by giving chance to so called religious activists on their programs.

The Holy Prophet (PBUH) forgot the Correct day of 'Laila tul Qadar' because two men were quarelling... How bad the quarel was, at that time...

Now! It's not a big deal... If your friend is not giving back your money he had taken from you, grab a knife and cut his throat. Go to jail. Have some gossips there. Come back to your home and enjoy your life!

Is this the worth of human life?

The Holy Prophet (PBUH) promoted peace! He won the hearts with love and kindness! We are his followers. Follow his footsteps and be peaceful! Allah Almighty will punish you for sure if you didn't follow His teachings and His Prophet (PBUH) 's teachings...

We have to get over our narrow mindedness about the religious issues... We have to give rights to our minorities, if we are calling Pakistan as the Islamic State!

Who can be the more blasphemer than the Munafiqeen of Makkah? Even Prophet (PBUH) forgave them too! So why Mullah? Why do you kill the innocent people?

Please keep your ethics to yourself and let Pakistan groom! Don't make it doom!

We are also under crisis! Gas, Water, Electricity, Food etc. Everything is going towards its end...

Pray for Pakistan! Bow in front of Allah and seek for Help!

Pakistan Zindabad!

FREE SHAHBAZ TASEER!

Salmaan Taseer's son Shahbaz Taseer kidnapped yesterday from Gulberg Lahore.. Salman Taseer was the Governor of Pakistan's province Punjab.. He was shot dead by his own guard who was there for protection.. He killed the governor with 27 bullets... How bloody animal was the guard.. Guard's name was Mumtaz Qadri.. What happened after Salmaan's death?? There were stickers and leaflets for salutation to Qadri.. Why? Because he killed a human-being? Why was that? Are we so cruel? Is there no value of a human life? Salmaan Taseer was a successful business man and he was the only Governor who took the side of minorities... He was the only Governor who stood up by the side of Ahmadies, Christians and all the minorities.. He was killed because he supported humanity.. He was killed because he fulfilled the rights of people.. Many people distributed sweets on his killing.. Alas!

Now, his son is abducted.. What would be the condition of the Taseer family? How his mother, sisters and brothers would be feeling? Why don't these bloody killers of humanity think about these things?

We want Shahbaz Taseer to be free. I beg you Pakistan, do JUSTICE. Save him! You have already killed his father! Please have Mercy on Taseer's family now! Please save the people that are peaceful and want peace!

FREE SHAHBAZ TASEER!!!

True Muslims Peace Loving..

False Muslims Spreading hate..

True Muslims Don't kill others..

False Muslims Kill and invite others to kill..

True Muslims are broad-minded..

False Muslims are narrow-minded..

True Muslims preach others with love..

False Muslims preach others with guns and swords..

True Muslims follow Quran and Sunnat..

False Muslims follow Mullah..

True Muslims say Love for all, Hatred for none..

False Muslims Hate Hate and Just Hate..

True Muslims don't strike or burn tires on roads..

False Muslims do so..

True Muslims Are always polite with their enemies..

False Muslims are always happy to kill their enemies..

True Muslims do not abuse others' religion..

False Muslims do and invites others to do so..

In short... True Muslims are shining stars.. False Muslims are coward..

Bhutto Case...

Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto.. A person who was hanged by the Former President Zia Ul Haq...

Bhutto was hanged approximately 30 years ago.. The Pakistani Government is again opening this case..

Why they are opening this case..

They just want to busy the people in these kind of immoral things and don't want to touch the main things...

What's the matter of opening this case?

Do they want to pull Zia out of the grave and ask him.. What do they want? A moment they talk about Be-nazir and then Zulfiqar Bhutto... There are a lot of problems in Pakistan and are far more important to consider than these useless cases..

Come on Pakistan.. If you want to groom, consider those things that will make u groom...

Consider the poor people.. Help them.. Don't touch those things that will result in nothing...